1 00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:06,882 I'm perfectly certain 2 00:00:06,906 --> 00:00:10,753 This is all part of an error On the part of my bank. 3 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,323 But, mrs. Stratton, I mean, since 1967, 4 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:19,062 You've bounced more Than 250 checks in 48 states. 5 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,932 I'm going to hawaii next month. 6 00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,267 Or possibly not. 7 00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,338 Sergeant... 8 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:33,309 I intend to make full Restitution of every cent. 9 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,979 But, mrs. Stratton, These overdrafts here, 10 00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:41,384 They total, I mean, Almost $40,000. 11 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,708 I'll give you a check, darling. 12 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,358 If I had known you were a cop, 13 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,628 I wouldn't have tried To pick your pocket. 14 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,029 No kidding. 15 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,366 It's just that your Pants got me excited... 16 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,603 Stretchy double knits, wallet Bulging out of your pocket 17 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,537 Like it was a load of laundry. 18 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,872 Come on. Inside. 19 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,474 Everybody else is wearing Those tight french jeans. 20 00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,343 Try and get your hand in them. 21 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,968 I know what you mean. 22 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,918 I finished processing kingman. 23 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,319 Fine. 24 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,988 So, I'll run him over to The tombs in a few minutes, 25 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,457 And then I'll come back. 26 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,591 Fine. 27 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,828 I can come back? 28 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,830 More rumors, wojo? 29 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,965 The guy in pictures and prints 30 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,668 Just told me that They're going to bust 31 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,438 A bunch of junior Grades back to uniform 32 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,840 And ship them over To manhattan south. 33 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,908 I hear staten island. 34 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,276 Staten island? 35 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:45,548 I'm just kidding, wojo! 36 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,685 You know, that's how Rumors get started, barn. 37 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,355 I've been hearing the Same rumors you have 38 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,390 About precinct closings, 39 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,627 Demotions of third Grades, sergeants. 40 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,528 Captains. 41 00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:02,432 The point is, there has Been no definite word yet, 42 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,501 And until there Is, the thing to do 43 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,170 Is not to pay any Attention to idle gossip. 44 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,872 You guys hear the latest? 45 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:13,176 What? 46 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,278 Sir, you want to get in on this? 47 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,946 All right, levitt, What do you got? 48 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,648 This is leonard Roth, a cabdriver. 49 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,283 Mr. Roth was robbed at gunpoint, 50 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,885 Then locked in the Trunk of his hack. 51 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,653 Right. Four days ago. 52 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,822 And you're just reporting it? 53 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,323 I just got out! 54 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,758 Oh, I see. 55 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,360 Four days in a hot And stinking trunk... 56 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,997 I was pounding and Screaming my lungs out, 57 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,631 And no one lifted a finger. 58 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,533 Why don't you have A seat, mr. Roth? 59 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,669 There were people Walking by all the time. 60 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,371 I'm begging for help, And they're saying, 61 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,608 "Ignore it. It Doesn't concern us. 62 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,943 Maybe it's allen funt." 63 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,445 Obviously, somebody Did let you out. 64 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,848 Oh, sure... Some Clown rear-ended me, 65 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,950 And the trunk popped open. 66 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,686 He didn't know I was in there. 67 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,455 You want to have a seat? We'll show you some pictures. 68 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,257 Maybe you'll recognize somebody. 69 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,628 Yeah, thank you. 70 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:08,431 Uh, dietrich, want to Take care of mr. Roth? 71 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,634 No. 72 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:17,173 No, I wouldn't... So don't ask. 73 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,275 Sir, if you need anything else, 74 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,978 I'll be downstairs getting My things together. 75 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,313 What? 76 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,214 To be prepared to Vacate the premises. 77 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,382 Didn't you know, sir? 78 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,917 According to informed sources, 79 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,886 They're tearing Down the precinct 80 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,656 To make room for luxury Low-income housing units. 81 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,992 Where did you get that one? 82 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,216 The catering truck. 83 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,666 Okay. Got it. 84 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,769 Barn, there's a disturbance 85 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,404 At a dry cleaners Over on bleecker. 86 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,874 Uh, you and wojo. 87 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,508 Somebody's going to have To bounce mrs. Stratton 88 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,510 Over to manhattan south. 89 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,379 I'll take care of it. 90 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,582 Okay. Let's go, woj. 91 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:03,152 - hey, harris. - yeah? 92 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,121 Have you heard anything About them busting detectives 93 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,623 Back to uniform? 94 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,759 Hey, man. I wouldn't Worry about it. 95 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:13,018 Well, I'm not gonna buy Any new clothes for a while. 96 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,622 That's always a good idea. 97 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,272 All right, come on in here. 98 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,774 I'm warning you. You keep That terrorist away from me! 99 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,077 Don't you threaten Me, you expansionist pig! 100 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,112 Watch who you're calling A pig, you camel driver! 101 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,282 Hey! Both of you, knock it off. 102 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,517 I have a station wagon. 103 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,453 What's going on here? 104 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,688 Oh, barn, you know Mr. Cotterman, 105 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,122 Cotterman's liquors. 106 00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,359 - mr. Cotterman. - hello, captain. 107 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:52,562 Barney, this is Mr. Steven haddad. 108 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,330 This is captain miller. 109 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,467 Mr. Haddad owns the cleaners Next door to cotterman. 110 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,235 He's an arab. 111 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,072 So? You didn't Introduce him as a jew. 112 00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:06,276 He knew it already, right? 113 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,244 All right, what's happening? 114 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,680 Well, barn, according To mr. Cotterman, 115 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,482 Mr. Haddad tossed a brick 116 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,050 Through the front Window of his store. 117 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,320 While my back was turned... But what else is new? 118 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,755 If I was going to throw a Brick, I'd throw it in your face! 119 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,757 All right, all right. What's the problem? 120 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,326 There's no problem, captain. 121 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,595 - tell him to stay Out of my alley. - your alley? 122 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,698 My liquor store was there Before your dry cleaners. 123 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,367 He puts his trash bins In where I park my truck! 124 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,269 I need room for the ice machine. 125 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,237 So what goes in Next... A kibbutz? 126 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,773 Anyway, when mr. Cotterman 127 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,243 Confronted mr. Haddad With the brick, 128 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,611 A six-minute war ensued, 129 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,914 During which they took a Couple swipes at each other. 130 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:47,283 I take it the Charges are mutual? 131 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,485 Oh, yeah. They agreed on that. 132 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,321 We're going to need A few statements. 133 00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,155 I know the procedure, captain. 134 00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:57,460 Sergeant harris, shall we? 135 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,995 Mr. Haddad, if you'll Have a seat over here, 136 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,365 Sergeant wojciehowicz Will take your statement. 137 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,167 I didn't throw that brick. 138 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,536 Regardless, we're going To have to book you. 139 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,505 Sure. Why not? I'm an arab, right? 140 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,474 Aren't we responsible for All that's bad in the world... 141 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,343 The mideast violence, 142 00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:16,601 The hostage situation, The energy problem? 143 00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,718 Don't all speak at once. 144 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,009 Have a seat, mr. Haddad. 145 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:37,299 You know, you Got a horrible stain 146 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,602 On the back of your sweater. 147 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,236 So what? 148 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,374 I'll just toss it in the Sink with a little woolite. 149 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:45,975 It's good as new. 150 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,945 Sure. Take your best shot. 151 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,681 Go pitch a tent. 152 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,315 Where? 153 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:56,018 Your zionist hoodlums Sold our homeland. 154 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,286 Zionist hoodlums? 155 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,190 Where'd you pick that Up... Lynn redgrave? 156 00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,924 That's vanessa, stupid. 157 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,561 Lynn is the one on The hospital show. 158 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,096 What hospital show? 159 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,466 You know, the one with the guy That used to be on "M♪a♪s♪h." 160 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,734 Oh, yeah. 161 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:15,505 Why isn't he on "Trapper john"? 162 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,072 How do I know?! 163 00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:19,341 Ask the guy from "Bonanza"! 164 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,411 You ask him. What Am I... Your slave? 165 00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:22,945 You were once. 166 00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,615 It's good to see you gentlemen Have reached an accord. 167 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:26,649 - what?! - good. 168 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,017 Wojo, you want to turn 169 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,052 Mr. Haddad and Mr. Cotterman loose? 170 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,188 Harris, would you Get their valuables? 171 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,257 Captain, I'm still Pressing charges. 172 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,359 So am I! We despise Each other, right? 173 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,660 Absolutely. 174 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,597 Which is why I admire you Gentlemen all the more, 175 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,032 Putting aside your Petty differences 176 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,300 In the face of more Compelling issues 177 00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,302 Like police manpower shortages, 178 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,738 Departmental budget cuts, 179 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,106 Detectives working Double caseloads. 180 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,775 You want us to leave? 181 00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:53,976 Fine. 182 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,111 Come sign. 183 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:59,515 I wouldn't ordinarily do this, 184 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,751 But as a special Favor, captain... 185 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,719 Thank you. 186 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,589 Mr. Haddad. 187 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,224 If he can be gracious, so can I. 188 00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,560 Wonderful. 189 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,696 And I'm sure if you two Gentlemen would sit down 190 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,399 And discuss your problems Face-to-face across the table, 191 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,670 You would come up with a Just and lasting solution. 192 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:23,172 Sure, when the Red sea parts again. 193 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,107 If it did, you'd build A settlement there. 194 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,643 So! We made the desert bloom. 195 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,679 Usurper! Martinizer! 196 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,069 Good day, gentlemen! 197 00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:37,653 At least they're talking. 198 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,589 Ah, the same to you, bub. 199 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:44,126 It just so happens I had This suit washed last week. 200 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,762 Barney, inspector luger's here. 201 00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,763 Thank you. 202 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,298 Luger: hi, barn. How you doing? 203 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,100 Ah, inspector. 204 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,102 Nice to see you All here together. 205 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,404 Ah, what's up? 206 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,306 Uh, nothing much, barney, 207 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:59,374 Just a minor Departmental policy change 208 00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,310 That will alter the lives 209 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,580 Of every man, woman, And child in the nypd. 210 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,349 Well, what is it? 211 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,785 None of your business, wojo. 212 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:12,021 Just kidding, just kidding. 213 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,723 Can we go into Your office, barn? 214 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,290 If this affects everybody, 215 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,493 I'd just as soon we All hear it firsthand. 216 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,795 Sure. Why not? 217 00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:22,264 Well, you know how The big brass downtown 218 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,234 Is always trying to make Changes in the department... 219 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,269 You know, goose Up the efficiency, 220 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,204 Bolster the productivity, 221 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,473 All that pie-in-the-sky garbage? 222 00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,709 Yeah. Well, they're doing it. 223 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,310 How? 224 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,146 Specialty squads. 225 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,749 Specialty squads? Yeah. 226 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,652 Now instead of having to go Out on every piddly little call 227 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,354 That comes into The precinct, see, 228 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,958 You expand your area of Operation and specialize... 229 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,561 Like one squad will Be strictly bunco, 230 00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,464 One will be vice, one Will be narcotics... 231 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,965 And us? 232 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,301 Well, I had to pull a Few strings, barney, 233 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,270 Call in a couple of I.O.U.S, 234 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:05,007 But I got you homicide. 235 00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:08,243 Yeah, yeah, no more Second-class collars 236 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:10,980 For my boys from The good old 1-2. 237 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,872 So from now on, it's going To be strictly murder. 238 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,079 Thank you, inspector luger. 239 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,801 Uh... But I've been Waiting a week. 240 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,125 You guys promised You'd have it for me today. 241 00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,073 Well, I don't care if You've got a bludgeoning 242 00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,742 And a suicide pact ahead of me, 243 00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,399 I need an official cause Of death for my report. 244 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:49,173 I know he was stabbed 27 times. 245 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:54,545 Look, haven't you got a latin Term for that or something? 246 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:59,695 Okay, then. 247 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,086 Multiple... 248 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,457 Stab wounds. 249 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,773 You see, sergeant dietrich, 250 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,975 I have always placed a Great deal of emphasis 251 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,678 On good grooming And personal hygiene. 252 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,781 Well, you know, Clothes make the man... 253 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:21,283 Cleanliness is Next to godliness... 254 00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,719 A smile and a shoeshine. 255 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,988 Those are my mottoes. Right. 256 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,623 Well, when I realized what That person had done to me, 257 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:31,861 I understandably Became a little upset. 258 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:35,397 You slit your barber's throat. 259 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,856 Of course. Look What he did to my hair. 260 00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,972 It looks fine to me. 261 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:46,308 Oh, no. That's Where you're wrong. 262 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,478 The sideburns are Measurably uneven. 263 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,581 It's tapered Crooked in the back. 264 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,515 He gave me a cowlick. 265 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,974 I look like alfalfa in "The little rascals." 266 00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,321 Yeah, now I see it. 267 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:02,613 Yes. Everyone does. 268 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,830 Jenkins report finished yet? 269 00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,665 No. 270 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:13,235 The medical examiner's Backed up till next week. 271 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,459 You can never get an Autopsy when you need one. 272 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,108 Hello, people. 273 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,781 How did it go? 274 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,150 Eh, same as the others... 275 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:30,920 Mutilated body Sitting in a garbage can, 276 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,055 Hacked up into Manageable portions 277 00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:36,392 And stuffed into Assorted trash bags. 278 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,128 I see. 279 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,717 Ah, danish. 280 00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,388 Any leads at all? 281 00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:46,936 Well, I think I got It narrowed down 282 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,871 To somebody who's really sick. 283 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:58,347 Anyway, I tagged the remains And had them sent downtown. 284 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,382 Write it up and Keep me apprised. 285 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:04,008 Don't let it get to You. Hey, no problem. 286 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,268 No, there's nobody in there. 287 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,757 Just checking. 288 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,175 Captain, I finished the Arrest report on st. Martin. 289 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,032 Oh, fine. 290 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:35,050 "Probable motive... Too much off the top"? 291 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:37,820 Well, take a look at him. 292 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,689 To tell you the truth, 293 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,092 It's been, what, Almost two weeks now? 294 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,883 I'm really not completely Adjusted to our new clientele. 295 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,164 Actually, it's not That much different 296 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:51,500 From the old caseloads. 297 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:56,138 There's minor squabbles, Family disputes, petty thefts... 298 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,206 Same as before. 299 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,908 Except now we've got their guts 300 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,409 Splattered all over The sidewalk, right? 301 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,301 You could let a guy finish. 302 00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,820 Can I help you? 303 00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,554 Oh, I'm sorry. 304 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,357 I couldn't help but Admire your hair. 305 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,326 It's perfect. 306 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,029 Thank you. 307 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,764 You probably had to Kill a lot of barbers 308 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,788 Before you found the right one. 309 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,974 Okay, henry. Time for Pictures and prints. 310 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,709 Oh, no. I couldn't possibly Have my picture taken. 311 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,146 Not looking like this. We Been through this already. 312 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,513 Let's go! 313 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,715 Perhaps if I saw his barber... Outta the chair, henry! 314 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:42,673 You're through! 315 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,884 Sir, your mail. 316 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,499 What's all that? 317 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,669 Unsolved cases of a Non-homicidal nature... 318 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,637 You're supposed to Give them your okay 319 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,406 Before pawning them off on Our various specialty squads. 320 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,609 Okay. 321 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,111 Something else, levitt? 322 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,446 Sir, I just want to say that While I realize at the moment 323 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,949 I'm only an Administrative drudge, 324 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,085 Sir, my only request is That in the hopeful event 325 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,420 Of an unwieldy amount Of senseless bloodshed, 326 00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:21,691 I.E. Gangland slayings, Terrorist bombings... 327 00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,659 God willing, a tower killer... 328 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:24,894 That you'll bear in mind 329 00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:27,078 That I'm still available For squad-room duty. 330 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,667 I'll keep it in mind. 331 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,024 Bless you. 332 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,809 Don't shoot. It's me. 333 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,410 Bang, bang. 334 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,645 Aah! 335 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,115 Ah ah. Didn't say, "Freeze." 336 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,450 Oh, darn. 337 00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,052 Hey, carol. 338 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,522 Hi, wojo, diet, har. 339 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,858 Inspector. 340 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,360 Seems kind of dead in here. 341 00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,996 Business is good, hmm? 342 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,766 Oh. 343 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,136 Who did mr. Belvedere kill? 344 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,504 His barber. 345 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,839 Ahh. Lovers' quarrel, hmm? 346 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,408 Bad haircut, so He slit his throat. 347 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,711 Mmm. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. 348 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,047 What kind of a murdering scum 349 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,249 Do you call yourself, Anyway, hmm? 350 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,239 Henry. 351 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,922 Look, if your barber Gives you a bad trim, 352 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:30,092 Lets a couple of itchy Hairs fall down your collar, 353 00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:33,985 So you don't tip him, you Swipe his copy of cavalier. 354 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,166 Ah, inspector, What brings you... 355 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,802 Don't go slicing a man's Throat from ear to ear! 356 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,404 Social visit? Huh? 357 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:45,074 Just wondering what Brings you down here. 358 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,841 Oh, nothing much, barney, 359 00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:50,045 Just a little quasi-official Personal business. 360 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,148 You got a few minutes, barn? 361 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,683 As a matter a fact, I've Got about 75 case files 362 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,185 On my desk I got to go through. 363 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,652 Ah, good. 364 00:17:57,676 --> 00:18:00,111 Well, then, one more little Thing won't matter, will it? 365 00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:09,365 Got your pictures For you, arthur. 366 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,732 Oh, boy. 367 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,836 Dead barber from the left, Dead barber from the right, 368 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:19,174 And, of course, your Dead barber dead-on. 369 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,176 What's this? 370 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,079 Oh, well, when I saw you Standing over the body, 371 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,049 Making notes, I thought It would make a cute shot. 372 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,518 It does. You can keep it. 373 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,823 Thank you. My mother's Been asking me for a picture. 374 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,025 Which one's harris? 375 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:37,659 Uh, I am. 376 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,829 Hi. I'm ron harris. 377 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,431 Alex kramer. 378 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:46,401 I worked up a composite for You of your hacked-up torsos. 379 00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:52,608 Ah. 380 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,909 My, aren't these lovely? 381 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,216 What, uh... 382 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,717 What happened to the Other photographer? 383 00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,719 He quit. 384 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:07,890 Listen, why don't You take a seat, 385 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,781 And we'll look these over? 386 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,273 Oh, look, could I get You some coffee or tea? 387 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,607 Coffee. 388 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,809 How do you take yours? Black. 389 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,501 Oh, good. 390 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,715 So, anyway, barney, 391 00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,985 With this departmental Reorganization going on, 392 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,953 You know, and all our people 393 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:41,957 Being shuffled around From pillar to pole, 394 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:45,327 It figures there's going To be a few jobs available 395 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,463 With the hierarchy downtown. 396 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,032 I wouldn't be at all surprised. 397 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:53,001 No, no, not that I'm Exactly miserable 398 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,205 Schlepping around The way I do now, barney. 399 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,473 But let's face it, you know? 400 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,276 The old inspector... 401 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,178 Isn't getting any Younger, barney, hmm? 402 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,448 There's no reason why I Shouldn't try to grab off 403 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:10,352 One of them cushy desk Jobs in my declining years... 404 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,387 A title maybe, you know, 405 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:16,325 Nice nameplate on the Desk, a little prestige. 406 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,927 I deserve it, barney. 407 00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:20,862 Absolutely... And I'm Sure they'd welcome 408 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,966 A man of your caliber And expertise downtown. 409 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,235 I knew you'd say that, barney. 410 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,070 That's why I'd like Your recommendation 411 00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:34,143 On this Performance-evaluation form. 412 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,810 There you go. 413 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:37,045 Huh? 414 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,149 I know you'd jump at The chance, barney, 415 00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:43,185 To give a favorable, Objective appraisal 416 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,221 To a man who's Treated you like his son 417 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,158 For all these many years. 418 00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:51,326 Uh... 419 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:55,330 What exactly is it I'm Recommending you for? 420 00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:57,132 No big deal, barney... 421 00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,869 A little desk tucked away In a corner someplace 422 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,505 In the Public-information office. 423 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,374 You're kidding. 424 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,908 No! 425 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,212 What do they call It... Uh, media liaison 426 00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:13,949 Or some crapola like That, barney, that's all. 427 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:18,754 You know, I talk to the public And meet with the press and... 428 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,423 Like, suppose some poor Slob of a cop, you know, 429 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,692 Gets his fingers Caught in the till, 430 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:27,429 Or maybe he's put a slug into Some innocent bystander, huh? 431 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,831 I go down and talk to reporters, 432 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,167 Give them a little Song and dance... 433 00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:35,204 "Yes, we're looking Into this very carefully. 434 00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:38,307 "We're conducting a Thorough investigation. 435 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:42,144 "In the meantime, why the Hell don't you just run along 436 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,668 And mind your own business?" 437 00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:48,951 Something wrong, barn? 438 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,786 No, no, no, uh... 439 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,989 Well, I don't see you Writing anything down. 440 00:21:54,013 --> 00:22:01,229 Uh, well, uh, Um... Uh, ha ha. I... 441 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:04,822 Barney, a ballpoint right here. 442 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,964 What're you up to? 443 00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:17,012 Nothin'. 444 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,546 Waiting for the morgue to call. 445 00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:20,548 Aren't we all? 446 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:23,918 Yeah. 447 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:27,489 I guess a detail Like this gets ya... 448 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,958 Gets you thinking about When you're gonna die. 449 00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:32,327 I wasn't. 450 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,051 I mean, life is... 451 00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:41,825 Is really just marking Time till it's over. 452 00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:45,962 Sitting around waiting For something to happen. 453 00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:50,167 Is mike douglas on tonight? 454 00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,171 Who? 455 00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,919 Excuse me. Is this homicide? 456 00:22:57,943 --> 00:22:59,788 Uh, over there is. 457 00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:02,524 This is homicide. 458 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,460 - may I help you? - I may have one. 459 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,763 Well, uh, want to Have a seat, miss... 460 00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:11,165 Mrs. Harriet shulton. 461 00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:14,570 Shulton... Who's the Victim, mrs. Shulton? 462 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:17,071 My husband, david shulton. 463 00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:19,508 When did it happen? 464 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:21,710 That's up to vincent. 465 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,779 Who's vincent? 466 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,370 The man I hired to kill david. 467 00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:31,252 Barney! 468 00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:33,087 Huh? 469 00:23:33,111 --> 00:23:36,391 Miss shulton, you Put out a contract 470 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,692 On your husband's life? 471 00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:40,061 Yes, but I want to cancel it. 472 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,153 I can do that, can't I? 473 00:23:56,636 --> 00:24:00,315 I'm afraid the only calls We make now are homicide. 474 00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:02,017 Homicide? 475 00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,653 - you're not serious. - I'm afraid so. 476 00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:06,721 But, captain, I've been Bringing my business here 477 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:09,123 For 15 years. Couldn't You make an exception 478 00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:11,125 - for a regular customer? - I'm afraid not. 479 00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:14,963 I think the, uh, man from Glad has struck again. 480 00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:18,066 They, uh, found another Body stuffed in the garbage bin 481 00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:19,756 A couple of blocks from here. 482 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,693 Was it wearing a thin tie?